Perks to Being a Military Wife

I hear way too much negativity when it comes to couples marrying young. Not only young, but also military young.  How do you even know who you are if you get married if so young?  I laugh when I tell people I am married to the Navy, because that is exactly what if feels like. Even though this is by far not the easiest life, not just anyone can handle it, it’s also not the worse life to have.

Sure I didn't have life all figured out when I got married. Does anyone really do? Possibly, but I’m not Type A personality (I’m STILL trying to figure out what I want to do for a career, after “going back to school” 3 times). All I knew was that when I started dating my best friend, I didn't want to go through life without him. He was my rock through some rough times already, why not have him by my side as I figure out the rest of my life?

So here I am. Living in Southern California, trying to figure out life. Now back to the point, the perks of being a military wife that they don't tell you about.

1. You meet a lot of new people

It only took a short while, but we became life-long friends <3

You meet some good ones, some annoying ones, some crazy ones.. the list goes on. Maybe it’s just me coming from a town of 1400 people, but I have met a lot of people from all over the spectrum since joining the military-wife life. It’s a learning experience to say the least. At 25, I can now determine what kind of friends I want to have in my life. I am not going to keep “relationships” just to keep up appearances. I want relationships that are going to help me grow as a person, people I love and who love me back. After moving cross country, I have met some more life-long friends and even though there is an added hardship in the fact that we will only be together for a short time before our husbands move on to a new command/get out of the military, These are the types of friends you want to keep in contact with, and will make that happen. Then there are the friends you leave behind to take on this new life, and you realize how great they really are and strangely, your bond grows stronger. I count myself very blessed with the handful of friends I have. Though they are few, they are the best kind. I cherish them more than I can form into words.

 

2. You grow as an individual.

Beyond learning how to be an adult (everyone gets that eventually, I would hope) You HAVE to get up and do stuff. Sounds silly, but for me, I was a total dependent in my past life. I was codependent on friends, boyfriends, and family. Suddenly I’m dropped off in a strange place, alone? I had to get up and out of the house for my own (and husbands) sanity to explore and meet new people. I had to figure out what I like to do, find people who like to do what I do, and do it! It is nice when the husbands are gone and I get to do what I like to do on my own time. I grow as an individual by discovering new things all the time! And I get to come home and tell my best friend (who is floating out in the deep blue somewhere) all about it.

3. You have the most romantic love story out there (so you believe).

Remember your first kiss? Imagine have multiple “first kisses” with the same amazing man. Just as exciting and exhilarating as the very first, awkward exchange. You get butterflies when you FINALLY get that email, or letter with his name on it. The giddiness that builds up before you get to see him after a long deployment (or short underway, or even a duty day) is just a reminder how much in love you are and how much he means to you. Plus the sweet love notes you get in return are just the cherries on top. You truly learn to cherish the time you have together because you never know if it will be for very long.

4. You get to go places you never thought you’d be!

I always joked about becoming a hippie and bumming on the beach in California. What I didn't know, is that I actually would, in a way that my family accepts. Not really a hippie, but closer to a beach bum than I ever expected. I never truly believed I would end up by the ocean and like it. I discovered that I LOVE the ocean and the beach and I would not mind being caught in a Nicholas Sparks novel (come on, the greatest love story, and beaches? I'm going to email that guy). I discovered I can navigate a large city (I don't like so much, but I can do it) and being an hour away from Disneyland is like the greatest thing ever. I'm still considering being a Princess for a summer. Another perk to the city, The Zoo. And the pass that allowed me to go eat lunch in front of the giraffes as often as I like.

5. You learn how to be alone. It's a good thing.

I recently read a chapter in God Strong: The Military Wife's Spiritual Survival Guide by Sara Horn (Highly recommend it!) about loneliness. It is one of the greatest emotions we face in the military life. In the chapter I read the story of Ruth and her circumstances. Instead of giving into self-pity (she had every right to!) she made the most of the circumstances and embraced the place where God had put her. Let me share with you Sara's words: "We can't let our loneliness turn into a season of self-pity; instead, we must treat it as a time of growth, a moment for renewal, and a period of hope for the joys to come." Those words have been a constant reminder how to live my day to day life. It's more than just learning how to be alone, but to grow in this season and hopefully come out a better person. Deployment can seem like such a long, dark chapter, but only if you let it. There is always a dawn to look forward to! Until that beautiful day when I get to hold my sailor again, I will learn as many things as possible, even if it's just to paint or perfect a recipe or develop good habits, whatever! I will learn to grow, where ever I am planted. 

sense of loneliness

 

It’s like drowning in the ocean. Even if I learn to float by some miraculous feat, I’d still be in the vast endless sea. no where to go. no target for ambition. nothing but flowing, restless, salty, bitter sea.

The silence always has it’s opinion.

I’m surprised how many friends I make in the loneliness. There are hundreds of pages un explored. I dare say that I have  many more characters to meet. I cannot be the only one disappointed in how they are perceived by the screen.

it’s blue and grey with burst of light that never last long.There’s the masked sunshine of the morning, always promising hope, which carries through out a good deal of the day. as it concludes, I’m afraid to report, it feels much more of taunting with its optimism. Jeering at me through the blinds

smells an awful lot like fermented fruits of crimsons. of laundry and rotten food. of overflowing dumpsters and old ladies who have lost their sense. of dog’s piss killing mint bushes, of new food creations simmering on the stove, of fresh cookies baking and fresh sweat on the brow.

As easy as one, two, three...right?

Ok, So I have be delaying posting for a while.  I don't know where to start!

First we have the puppy trials: Puppy training is an exhausting, tedious, time consuming, money guzzling experience.
I have ADD. -sorry puppy-
Someone once told me to enjoy the puppy phase, it passes so quickly... I'm over it.
 As cute as he is, I'm tired of needing to vacuum his shredded toy every night. Then then needing to replace said toy on a weekly bases to keep him from my slippers. I am thankful to announce that he has not shredded anything of importance! Just gets into the trash. I think he throws tantrums.
I am also discovering errors of the large breed puppy decision.
Mufasa can now see above the table, put his nose almost to my nose when I am sitting at the table, and has discovered he can reach the vase of flowers placed in the center of table. -may those beautiful Tulips rest in peace-
We are only at 7 months. He's not scheduled to be fully grown-physically-until 8-12 months. O_0
Thank the heavenly Lord almighty above for dog parks.
It's like having a huge back yard, that you don't have to mow..you just have to take a short drive. Get to meet other puppies...run around until we fall over. AWESOME! Just not when it rains.
Rain. It rains here. Not like Wyoming rain where it stops in a few minutes and there's no evidence tomorrow. It rained for like three days straight. Mufasa likes mud. and snails. Actually, I don't know about the snail part. He's certainly curious. and It's entertaining. When the rain clears here, and the sidewalks dry, dead snails every where. Stepping on snails is on my top five list of unpleasantries. Maybe even number one.
I digress...I have an adorable puppy, folks. He can be a punk, and frankly, sometimes I wish he wasn't around. But to be completely honest, I would be a total and complete mess without him. With Jeffrey gone so often, Mufasa is the reason I get out of bed! I need that. I don't like it some days.. but thank you Puppy. Thank you Jesus, seriously. He's the perfect fit when Jeffrey's gone. I can never be mad at him for long!

Secondly, We have the seemingly never-ending job search. I heard, back in the high school class room days, it's good to be early. not obsessively early, but like 10-15 minutes early.
Seems too early.
The last two interviews I survived, they seemed annoyed that I came early. No matter, didn't get that job, and have another interview come Monday. Fingers crossed! I want to work in a coffee shop again! Come home exhausted smelling of burnt beans... It's wonderful. and maybe get to dress up! I forgot how fun it is to dress up for an interview. Look all studious and professional. Makes me think if I need to re-direct my career goals. Don't worry, they are being adjusted...

Thirdly, School.
Found an Online program that will be paid for, thanks to Jeffrey's service in the Military. WOO It pays to be in the Military sometimes! It's a short, in-depth 6 months, but I will be certified Pharmacy Technician when It all pans out. That's a decent job, and it travels well. This program caters to military wives specifically so they target transfer-friendly careers. Who knows, maybe If I like it enough, I'll head down a road towards that direction.

This all sounds grand. But with the husband gone, I drag. I need to find some friends, get a job and get going on this schooling business! Then time will fly faster with more joy :)
Here's to hoping!! Cheers

The Puppy Adventures

Part one

I should start from the beginning... 

if I could have a constant video going on this fascinating creature, believe me, there would be. 

 In the beginning, (before the marriage part) my husband and I knew that he would be gone a lot with the Navy owning him and all. So we knew I would need something to keep me company. We definitely knew it wasn't baby time!

Meet Mufasa, with husband Jeffrey.
Birthday: September 22, 2012
Age in photo: 11 weeks
Breed: Siberian Husky
Color: Red/White












We decided puppy, and we got him early so that he would be less puppy, more protective dog by the time Jeffrey was deployed.

Challenge Accepted

Step one: family adjustments

First Family photo
December 8, 2012

Step Two: leash

Winning!

Almost.

Step Three: acceptance  

Toy seemed sufficient. 

Step Four: Training

Paper for potty training....no.

I believe the rest can be summed up with pictures

We hide.

Outgrow some of our hiding places

We sleep.

We tear up toys and sleep

We sleep and forget we have a bed

We look studious and socially acceptable

Sleep some more

I think he's accepted us

for many more adventures to come

To Have and to Hold

Love is patient and kind; 

Love is not jealous or boastful;

Love is not arrogant or rude;

Love does not insist on its own way;

It does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends

The first night is fine; almost enjoyable even. The second is bearable, but there is a growing darkness lingering in the corner. By the third, there is a definite storm cloud occupying my mind. Maybe it's not because of the three consecutive days and nights spent alone, but the fact that it is only day 3 of a 12 day stretch.... That's when I have to stock up the wine cellar.
I knew being a military wife wouldn't be easy. I've been exposed to enough of it all my life I thought I would have this handled. To a certain extent, I do. I'm not surprised at any "unwelcome" news or when plans change without notice at an almost constant rate. This isn't  just military any more. It isn't just the Navy. It's reactor. It's only just the beginning, and I have so much to learn.
Should I be a little more concerned that I left everything I knew (family, friends, the simple Wyoming lifestyle I've grown accustomed to, etc.) moved over 2,000 miles to the 2nd largest city of California to marry a man I hardly get to see?
The selfish, newly-wed wife of 22 says, "yes! Yes, be upset, this sucks!" The rational part sees: I am so proud of my best friend. He's a humble bad-ass who works his butt off and whenever he does get a chance to come home, I am  so glad I'm here for it. I am so proud of him, I can't express it enough.
He has one of the most important jobs on that boat, he likes it, he's good at it and he works hard at it. He makes the ship GO! (I often wonder what the other 4,000 some odd people do on the boat.) Most importantly, he enjoys what he does. Not the long hours, or the deployments/under-ways and such (the whole Navy part) but the nuts and bolts (literally) of his job. He's proud of himself and that is what makes me smile. It comforts me. My best friend is a humble bad-ass and I just so happened to marry that man. I'll suffer through some more lonely nights, but to see that smile some back home to me, it's all worth it.

141...countdown to a certain death.

How in the world did I think signing up for a 50K was a good idea?

Let's just skip the half marathon normal people start out with. Why even start with the basic beginner marathon for the over ambitious. Go straight for the Ultra-marathon,  In the mountains. While you live at sea level. Oh, you have 5 months.  

Granted, I ran 20 miles before. two years ago. 

Good job brain. How did we come to this conclusion?

Impulses. Must. Restrain....

Gives me something to aim for. Provides motivation to get up in run. Or else I'll die in June. I ran 6 miles on Saturday. 24 to go!

Something will die in June, but it won't be my spirit.

I better get a cool t-shirt for this. 

Growing pains

I didn't realize leaving my grandparents would be so hard. I didn't cry when I left my parents for college. Why is this any different? We got in a comfortable system over the summer. Not only was I a help in the small ways that I could, but I was a student. I learned so much about the human life that I can't even comprehend, let alone explain. Something about the human heart that escapes me. I wouldn't even call it my heart, but my gut aches and wrenches in an unfamiliar pain  (I can see why in  ancient history they thought the soul was in the stomach). There just isn't enough life for me. 80 years isn't enough to fullfill this aching. I need to hug my grandparents, all of them, my patents, my brothers. My closest friends. Never take a moment for granted. When such moments end, something inside breaks.