Perks to Being a Military Wife

I hear way too much negativity when it comes to couples marrying young. Not only young, but also military young.  How do you even know who you are if you get married if so young?  I laugh when I tell people I am married to the Navy, because that is exactly what if feels like. Even though this is by far not the easiest life, not just anyone can handle it, it’s also not the worse life to have.

Sure I didn't have life all figured out when I got married. Does anyone really do? Possibly, but I’m not Type A personality (I’m STILL trying to figure out what I want to do for a career, after “going back to school” 3 times). All I knew was that when I started dating my best friend, I didn't want to go through life without him. He was my rock through some rough times already, why not have him by my side as I figure out the rest of my life?

So here I am. Living in Southern California, trying to figure out life. Now back to the point, the perks of being a military wife that they don't tell you about.

1. You meet a lot of new people

It only took a short while, but we became life-long friends <3

You meet some good ones, some annoying ones, some crazy ones.. the list goes on. Maybe it’s just me coming from a town of 1400 people, but I have met a lot of people from all over the spectrum since joining the military-wife life. It’s a learning experience to say the least. At 25, I can now determine what kind of friends I want to have in my life. I am not going to keep “relationships” just to keep up appearances. I want relationships that are going to help me grow as a person, people I love and who love me back. After moving cross country, I have met some more life-long friends and even though there is an added hardship in the fact that we will only be together for a short time before our husbands move on to a new command/get out of the military, These are the types of friends you want to keep in contact with, and will make that happen. Then there are the friends you leave behind to take on this new life, and you realize how great they really are and strangely, your bond grows stronger. I count myself very blessed with the handful of friends I have. Though they are few, they are the best kind. I cherish them more than I can form into words.

 

2. You grow as an individual.

Beyond learning how to be an adult (everyone gets that eventually, I would hope) You HAVE to get up and do stuff. Sounds silly, but for me, I was a total dependent in my past life. I was codependent on friends, boyfriends, and family. Suddenly I’m dropped off in a strange place, alone? I had to get up and out of the house for my own (and husbands) sanity to explore and meet new people. I had to figure out what I like to do, find people who like to do what I do, and do it! It is nice when the husbands are gone and I get to do what I like to do on my own time. I grow as an individual by discovering new things all the time! And I get to come home and tell my best friend (who is floating out in the deep blue somewhere) all about it.

3. You have the most romantic love story out there (so you believe).

Remember your first kiss? Imagine have multiple “first kisses” with the same amazing man. Just as exciting and exhilarating as the very first, awkward exchange. You get butterflies when you FINALLY get that email, or letter with his name on it. The giddiness that builds up before you get to see him after a long deployment (or short underway, or even a duty day) is just a reminder how much in love you are and how much he means to you. Plus the sweet love notes you get in return are just the cherries on top. You truly learn to cherish the time you have together because you never know if it will be for very long.

4. You get to go places you never thought you’d be!

I always joked about becoming a hippie and bumming on the beach in California. What I didn't know, is that I actually would, in a way that my family accepts. Not really a hippie, but closer to a beach bum than I ever expected. I never truly believed I would end up by the ocean and like it. I discovered that I LOVE the ocean and the beach and I would not mind being caught in a Nicholas Sparks novel (come on, the greatest love story, and beaches? I'm going to email that guy). I discovered I can navigate a large city (I don't like so much, but I can do it) and being an hour away from Disneyland is like the greatest thing ever. I'm still considering being a Princess for a summer. Another perk to the city, The Zoo. And the pass that allowed me to go eat lunch in front of the giraffes as often as I like.

5. You learn how to be alone. It's a good thing.

I recently read a chapter in God Strong: The Military Wife's Spiritual Survival Guide by Sara Horn (Highly recommend it!) about loneliness. It is one of the greatest emotions we face in the military life. In the chapter I read the story of Ruth and her circumstances. Instead of giving into self-pity (she had every right to!) she made the most of the circumstances and embraced the place where God had put her. Let me share with you Sara's words: "We can't let our loneliness turn into a season of self-pity; instead, we must treat it as a time of growth, a moment for renewal, and a period of hope for the joys to come." Those words have been a constant reminder how to live my day to day life. It's more than just learning how to be alone, but to grow in this season and hopefully come out a better person. Deployment can seem like such a long, dark chapter, but only if you let it. There is always a dawn to look forward to! Until that beautiful day when I get to hold my sailor again, I will learn as many things as possible, even if it's just to paint or perfect a recipe or develop good habits, whatever! I will learn to grow, where ever I am planted.